Our hearts are heavy and light

On Saturday 14th of February we learned of the death of a good friend.

Cliff Magill was a rough sleeper, homeless, destitute, down and out, whatever you want to call him. But he was our friend. Late last year he got a house and we loved him. My friend wrote this in tribute:

Today one of the great men passed away,clifford magill, cliff, weecliff, cliffy boy, santa claus, uncle clifford. He meant so much to so many people, though he was estranged from his family, he made new friends he found new families, he touched people's lives.

He was always so full of joy, never failing to say a "what about ye kid?" "how ye doin girl" "Any change (just for laughs)" there was no pride with cliff, no airs and graces he made himself vulnerable, he made himself real, he let people into his life and people in turn responded to the love he gave. His love was agapé love, unconditional. Even when he was sometimes "over the rainbow" on alcohol it made no difference cliff was cliff. He was raw and unashamed, as one of my friends described Belfast as having grotty charm..i think cliff embodied this, sure sometimes he smelt but who cared his gentleness, and joyfulness overcame and you soon too picked up the Jesus aroma.

This guy had barely any possessions, his riches lay in his character and sincerity, that cheeky toothy grin, the big hoarsey laugh, his bluesy voice singing the fact that out of his nothing he'd want to get you a coffee.

And yet I just smile when i think how he now is living in a mansion of gold, free from the temtation of drugs and alcohol, free from people's sneers, free from depravity, he's richer than any of us on earth now. I can't wait to get up there to see him and to here that what about ye kid once again and get a big huge hug.

I also just want to give thanks too for his beautiful heart, his willingness to stand up for other homeless people, to see that no girl was harmed, too see people done right by. How many of us are seeing these simple things through? Cliff happy birthday, I cant wait to party with you in Heaven, i just hope there are plenty of Bishops chip shops that we can sing badly out of tune beside!somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, there's a land that i dream of, once in a lullaby, cya there kid.


I have my own special memories too:

I remember the first night I met you, I sat down and you offered me your blanket because it was freezing
Your presence gave the street character
Even though you had nothing, you were not short of things to give us
You gave us your love, your heart, your failures and your hopes
Your singing and charm made you endearing to everyone
You tried to get me to 'tap' the passers by and sent me to buy you cigarettes. I teased you about it being uncool to smoke these days.
The patch was not merley a space, a location or a bed it was Our church
Ours to hope, to dream and to see love in action
You bought me a cup of tea, and told me Halowee'n was the best night to be out because it was entertaining to see the 'Young ones having fun'
You told me off for walking without a boy and always made me smile.
I never tasted the coffee and I guess it wasn't the best, but half an hour with you always taught me imeasurably more than the numerous classes you made me late for!
I guess what i'm trying to say is thank-you. Thank-you for the things you taught me, the good times, and the hard times, your smile, generosity and all round amazing character. I hope you've found your place 'over the rainbow' and I can't wait to get to heaven and spend time with you again, maybe i'll even try the coffee!

You were loved. I'll miss you Cliff

Wanted- Manly Man

I want a man like this!

Extracts from 'Manly man' by Bradley Hathaway

Like David I want to be a man after God's own heart.
I'm not there yet, but I'm past the start.

And when people talk
I try to listen a spirit of compassion
That's my vision.
Surely I am a Manly Man
I want to be loved
and have love and give Love.
(and not just that romantic kind either)

Although I am looking for that beauty
Not helpless But wants to be rescued.
The Damsel in distress
Man
Woman
Myth
True.

I will fight for her.

Climb the highest tower for her

Love her.

Share with her.

Delight in her.

Be her warrior.

Her protector.

She will be my crown
and I will be hers.

My Masculinity will be passed down
and affirmed to my sons.

Each of my daughters will know they are lovely
and deserving of authentic romance.

Society tells me all day long

That I have defined manhood completely wrong.

But you ask any honest man and he will agree
You ask any honest woman and she too will see

That I am a Manly Man!

Belfasts Motto

So today I joined a choir thats coming together especially for the Centenary celebrations at Queens. And we are singing the most beautiful newly written song about Belfast, Queens and just general lovely stuff. One of the *composers notes* on the music says;

"Pro tanto quid retribuamus" which translates as "In return for so much, what will we give back?"

I was just thinking about that for ages, and how God is making the most amazing things happen in Belfast. For all that he has given us in this beautiful and wonderful city which i am so passionate about, what will I give back?
How can I ever give something back to a city which I have fallen in love with, which my heart has broken for? For a city so broken and divided but yet so full of hope? There's hope written on the walls, on the pavements and in our hearts.

What can I do but whisper that hope? Whisper into the darkness and try to find the light hidden there